Things I'll Never Say
by InterruptedProgress
Summary: Bella and Edward's first date after her grounding is over. Song Fic.


**A/N: I heard this song and this idea popped into my head. The song is "Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne and its their official first date after Bella is finished with being grounded. Please Review**

**Things I'll Never Say-**

_I'm tuggin' at my hair_

_I'm pullin' at my clothes_

_I'm tryin' to keep my cool_

_I know it shows_

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My hair fell limply against my shoulders and I couldn't do anything with it. Knowing it was hopeless; I threw it up into a ponytail and checked to make sure that my clothes looked okay. I had found them spread out on my bed with a note from Alice, telling me that if I did not wear these tonight, she would take me on an all girls shopping trip for the weekend.

Needless to say, I didn't argue.

The outfit was a pair of tight designer jeans and a black lacy tank top, where the neckline dipped a little too low for my liking, but there was no arguing with Alice.

I glanced at the clock, which told me that Edward would be here any moment, and I attempted to calm the fluttering of my heart, to no avail.

_I'm staring at my feet_

_My cheeks are turning red_

_And i'm searching for the words inside my head_

I heard the doorbell ring and I raced out of my room, hoping to avoid another confrontation with Charlie. He was still angry with Edward over his "abandonment" as Charlie liked to call it. I managed to make it to the last step before tripping. I held out my hands, bracing myself for the impact, but it never came.

Instead, I felt a pair of cold granite arms wrap around me and pull me up. I peeked an eye open and stared into the face of my Adonis, who smiled down at me.

"Hello Bella." I felt my cheeks flush and I turned to look down at my feet.

"S-sorry Edward." I stuttered, unable to speak when he looked at me with his mesmerizing eyes.

"Ahem!" I heard Charlie clear his throat and turned to see him glaring daggers at Edward, who still had his arms wrapped around my waist. I blushed again and reluctantly pulled away from my love to say goodbye to Charlie.

"Be back no later than nine." He grumbled before moving back into the living room.

"Shall we?" Edward took my hand and led me towards his Volvo.

_Cuz I'm feeling nervous_

_Tryin' to be so perfect_

_'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it_

_Yeah..._

We drove in silence as I gazed out the window, the trees flying by at a speed that caused me to clutch the seat in fear. I could feel Edward glancing at me every few moments, most likely worried by my silence and my lack of curiosity as to where we were going. I hated surprises.

"Bella?" His musical voice made me tear my gaze away from the window and turn to him.

"Hmmm?" I asked meeting his eyes for a moment before looking down at my hands.

"Are you all right?" His tone was worried, as if he had done something wrong.

"Yes, of course I am." I reassured him quickly, still not meeting his penetrating gaze.

He reached over and took one of my hands in his. I smiled at his touch, and he brought our hands up to my face, forcing me to turn and look him in the eyes.

His golden orbs were mesmerizing as they met my brown ones, dazzling me into a breathless state.

"What are you thinking my love?"

_If I could say what I want to say_

_I'd say I want to blow you--away_

_Be with you every night_

_Am I squeezing you too tight?_

_If I could say what I want to see_

_I want to see you go down--on one knee_

_Marry me today_

_Guess I'm wishing my life away_

_With these things I'll never say_

I opened my mouth to speak, but my nerves got the better of me and with some effort, I tore my eyes away from his and glanced at the speedometer.

"Slow down Edward!" I cried, and he sighed in frustration, I assumed at not being able to read my mind and turned back towards the road, easing up on the gas slightly.

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned back towards the window.

"That's really frustrating you know." He said irritably.

_It don't do me any good it's just a waste of time_

_What use is it to you what's on my mind?_

_If it ain't comin' out, we're not going anywhere_

_So why can't I just tell you that I care?_

It was times like these that I wished Edward could read my mind. After he had left me, I wasn't whole and almost killed myself on more than one occasion in a desperate attempt to hear his voice. When I found out he was going to Volterra, I risked everything to save him, and now that he was back, I was ready to give up everything for him. My body, my heart, and my soul, so why can't I just tell him that?

_'Cause I'm feeling nervous_

_Tryin' to be so perfect_

_'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it_

_Yeah..._

Because I was scared.

Sacred that he would find out that I'm really not that special. That he deserved so much more, and that he should have more. That I would never be good enough for him, and most of all, I was scared of him leaving again.

Renee said that she loved Charlie, but she left not long after the honeymoon was over, taking me with her and leaving Charlie with no one.

I didn't want to be Charlie.

But Edward had promised me that he would never leave me again, he even asked me to marry him. Something I had never even considered.

Before Edward.

And no matter how much I loved him, how much I knew that I could never live without him, the idea of matrimony sacred me.

More so than that- it thrilled me, as long as he was the one at the end of that aisle.

If only I could tell him that.

_If I could say what I wanna say_

_I'd say I want to blow you--away_

_Be with you every night_

_Am I squeezing you too tight?_

_If I could see what I wanna see_

_I want to see you go down--on one knee_

_Marry me today_

_Guess I'm wishing my life away_

_With these things I'll never say_

Edward pulled up to the restaurant and I smiled when I saw the lights of _La Bella Italia_.

"I thought that since this was our first date since my-" he paused and his eyes took on a saddened expression, I squeezed his hand reassuringly and gave him a small smile. I didn't blame him for leaving me, and I wish he would accept that. His expression brightened slightly and he exited the car before swiftly walking to the passenger's side and opening my door. He pulled me out of the car and wrapped his arms around my waist, his closeness causing me to shiver as he whispered in my ear.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look this evening?"

_What's wrong with my tongue?_

_These words keep slipping away_

_I stutter I stumble like I've got nothing to say_

I blushed and he chuckled at my reaction, before wrapping an arm around my waist and leading me into the restaurant.

The waitress, who had been sitting lazily in her seat, straightened immediately at the sight of us- or Edward. She glanced between Edward and I, then down at the arm he had wrapped around my waist. For a moment I thought that she might forgo the flirting seeing that we were obviously together.

"How may I help you this evening?" Her sultry tone, which I was sure she meant to sound seductive, told me otherwise. Apparently, I was no competition.

The thought made me wince, and I felt Edward's arm tighten around my waist.

_'Cause I'm feeling nervous_

_Trying to be so perfect_

_'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it, you're worth it_

_Yeah..._

"Could we have a table for two?" Edward's tone was disinterested, which made me feel slightly more confident, and made the waitress frown in disapproval.

She led us to a table in the center of the restaurant, and I felt a sense of déjà vu with the similarities between the first times we had come here, and just as he had that night, he paid her for a more secluded table.

Once we were seated and our drink orders taken, we sat there in silence, he held my hands in his over the table, his thumb caressing my hand. As he passed over my ring finger, for a moment, I found myself wishing that I had his ring on my hand.

_I guess I'm wishing my life away_

_With these things I'll never say_

I shook my head of the thought and looked up to meet his confused gaze. His brows were furrowed in confusion and his mouth pulled into a frown that marred his perfect features.

"What are you thinking, please tell me Bella." His eyes pleaded with mine.

_If I could say what I want to say_

_I'd say I want to blow you--away_

_Be with you every night_

_Am I squeezing you too tight?_

_If I could see what I want to see_

_I want to see you go down--on one knee_

_Marry me today_

_Guess I'm wishing my life away_

_With these things I'll never say_

I thought about it for a moment, debating whether or not I should tell him. Whether or not I was ready for him to know; in the back of my mind I pitied poor Alice who must be going crazy at the moment from my indecision.

I grinned at him and shook my head, causing him to sigh in frustration.

"Will I ever know?" he said after a moment of silence.

"I'm not telling, but you might." I answered cryptically, and before he could argue, the waitress arrived with the drinks.

_These things I'll never Say..._


End file.
